


Pregnancy Scare

by GamblingDementor



Category: In the Heights - Miranda
Genre: Anxiety, F/M, Fluff, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-01
Updated: 2017-02-01
Packaged: 2018-09-21 10:41:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9544454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GamblingDementor/pseuds/GamblingDementor
Summary: Only six months of pregnancy have passed yet they've felt like a hundred. Vanessa has no idea how Nina managed to complete this not just once but four times, and a fifth on the way. It's Vanessa's first and she already knows it'll be the last. Usnavi and her discussed it before they got her knocked up, both of them an only child and fine with it, and of course there were considerations of room and money… But in truth, right now, all those things fall silent and the only reason Vanessa can think of is that she never wants her body to go through this again. She would let Usnavi be pregnant if they could. This is her fifth pee break since she went to bed tonight.





	

 

Only six months of pregnancy have passed yet they've felt like a hundred. Vanessa has no idea how Nina managed to complete this not just once but _four_ times, and a fifth on the way. It's Vanessa's first and she already knows it'll be the last. Usnavi and her discussed it before they got her knocked up, both of them an only child and fine with it, and of course there were considerations of room and money… But in truth, right now, all those things fall silent and the only reason Vanessa can think of is that she never wants her body to go through this again. She would let Usnavi be pregnant if they could. This is her fifth pee break since she went to bed tonight.

 

She's barely starting her third trimester and she feels like this child isn't supposed to be as huge as she is already, because who waddles at just sixth months of pregnancy? Yet here she is, struggling to get out of bed, and Usnavi isn't here. She expects to find him in the bathroom but no sign of her little husband there either. Of course she hears sound from the kitchen, because where else? Usnavi groans in the distance and the baby shoves herself towards him in Vanessa's belly. She smiles.

 

"Sweetie?"

 

Caught like a rat, Usnavi stops right in his tracks of whatever he was doing, red in the face.

 

"Vanessa!" He breathes out. "I didn't think you were… I mean, I thought you…"

 

"I had to pee again," she sighs, sitting by the kitchen table while Usnavi shuffles from feet to feet, leaning on the counter. "I swear to God, I feel like I'll pee enough to fill up an ocean by the time this kid pops out."

 

Usnavi laughs awkwardly and, without asking, opens the fridge to fix Vanessa a sandwich. These days, it's been Nutella, bacon, cream cheese and hot sauce for her. He puts down the plate in front of her and she's already salivating, even though she's had dinner and two snacks already tonight. _Pregnancy is the worst_ , she thinks as she shoves the sandwich into her mouth and groans in pleasure at how perfect the balance is. Usnavi gets her pregnancy cravings like no one else.

 

He's nervous, she notices at once, maybe even panicking. He sits down next to her but stands up almost immediately, gets back to cleaning the dishes, soon realizes there is nothing dirty left. He always does this, always fidgets when he's feeling flickery inside. She's had the time to learn about it, fourteen years they've been together, and before that a life of friendship with Nina.

 

It's anxiety. Though Vanessa has never experienced it herself, she knows it all by heart. Sure, she's been afraid before. Not often, not much, maybe when her dad died, when she was left alone, but when fear comes bite at her, she kicks its ass and gets out stronger for it. That's her and this is them. Her way of dealing isn't how it works for them, never has been. She's grown used to it with Nina. There's always been those moments when Nina freezes up and lets everything gnaw at her from the inside and Vanessa has always been there to thaw her fears away.

 

It's the same thing happening with Usnavi, but the signs are completely different. It didn't take her too long to recognize it, despite everything about his being the opposite of Nina's panic attacks. Where she stops in her tracks and becomes paralyzed by fear, he follows his angst to the furthest point, makes himself busy and talks a mile a minute, unable to stop. Not without help.

 

"Usnavi," she says, using _the_ voice.

 

It isn't anything all that tricky, but Vanessa has noticed that the voice she uses has great impact on Usnavi in many different ways. Of course, there's the sexy voice, the one that gets him up and into it as soon as she opens her mouth, but there's a whole array of other voices she can use as well. The one she likes to call her Daniela voice gets him to shrink down to a little kid and listen to her for a minute. But the one she needs to use now is nothing like that, no. For tonight, she needs the honey voice that soothes his deepest fears. This one didn't come as natural to her, but experience taught her that when Usnavi is drowning in the ocean of his angst, he needs her to pull him up and be his rock. He needs her to be strong, but couldn't take her too tough either. He needs the gentle strength.

 

"Baby," she repeats. "C'mere."

 

She can see all the thoughts in his brain hurdling into each other. She tugs on his hand, makes him sit back down next to her. He doesn't drop her hand. Neither does she.

 

"I know that you…" He starts and for once his words fail him.

 

"Yeah?"

 

His palm is sweaty and rippled from washing the dishes. She wants to pull him on her lap and coddle her like he's in the safest place in the world, but he's not a child, he's almost a father, and her lap is already occupied by that grotesque belly.

 

"I know you been stressin' out," he blurts out. "About the baby."

 

That gives Vanessa pause. She hasn't, at least not really, not seriously. It has been many years since she's come to terms with the idea of eventually having a kid of her own. She's had much time to practice − Usnavi keeps bringing home Nina's munchkins, so much so that Vanessa has started calling Nina every time, just to make sure he didn't kidnap her four precious ones once and for all.

 

It's not that she hasn't been stressing at all. There's a big step between keeping an eye on Nina's gentle, smart, beautiful, obedient kids, and having a tiny baby who is her sole responsibility. The scarce doubts she's had, she has taken to Nina and Nina only, who has always been privy to much more of Vanessa's deeper self than the rest of humankind. She's found the ways to reason with Vanessa and soothe the doubts away. It's not that Vanessa wouldn't trust Usnavi with those doubts. Well, it is, but it's also that she barely trusts Usnavi with his own anxious mess of emotions, let alone any shred of hers.

 

"That _I've_ been stressing out?" She asks dubiously.

 

His hand is shaking in hers and he refuses to look at her.

 

"I know you think you can't be a good parent and you're afraid you can't do this and it's too much and I know you… _you_ need support and it's cool to ask, right? If you need it."

 

His hand is clenching hers pretty tight, his foot tapping on the floor, foot restless. Denial is so like Usnavi she wants to smile. If that's how he wants this…

"Yeah," she breathes out. "Yeah, it's totally cool."

 

"Really?" He asks eagerly, turning to her and his eyes are so big and dark and adorable and full of fears. She hopes the baby gets his eyes.

 

"Come."

 

She scoots her chair closer to his, wraps an arm around him, and the way he buries his head in the crook of her neck, he really needed it. She strokes his hair. Even the best laid plans…

 

It had been a long time since that seed had been planted. Usnavi was the one who brought up the idea that maybe, possibly, perhaps one day have a family of their own. That was years ago and it's not like Vanessa had never thought about it before either, not with Nina popping babies like she made it her personal responsibility to keep Washington Heights Latino one child at a time. And even after Vanessa had made up her mind that eventually, she could see herself happy with a child, that didn't mean she wanted one right then and there. Certainly not before she turned thirty, and when that birthday came and went, a few years went by before she felt like she'd had a full youth spent with Usnavi, and she was ready to add a member to their little household.

 

All that time, Usnavi had been baby crazy. Oh, he had always been, even as a boy, Nina told her. But it's no secret that, although he never once pressured her or showed any sign that he would leave her or love her any less if she decided against having a child, he had been craving to be a father. It seems that the reality of actually becoming one in this life and not his world of imagination is a lot less tranquil than what he had in mind.

 

"It's totally fine if you're scared," he mutters against her shoulder, himself sounding more scared than ever.

 

He's half toppled over her and she wonders if her arms would be too short to grab her sandwich from the table. It might be rude to try.

 

"Shh," she whispers, fingers deep in his hair, scratching his scalp soothingly.

 

"I'm here for you," he says. "Always here for you even if you think… if you're afraid you can't care for a little baby."

 

She wants to break the charade, comfort him and tell him she trusts him more than anyone in the world to take care of a child, even more than Nina, but he can be such a scaredy-cat sometimes, she wouldn't want to risk having him hiss in fear and angst.

 

"I know," she says finally, rubbing his back. With her belly, the angle is all weird and she's not even sure how he balances himself but he's taking up more and more of her space. "I know you're here for me."

 

"You do?"

 

He looks up at her and there they are again, those eyes. They have all the compassion in the world. _Ugh_ , she almost sighs. Pregnancy is making her sentimental.

 

"When you…" He tenses up. She corrects herself, anything to not scare away her little kitten of a husband. "When _I'm_ feeling anxious, I try to think that we'll always be here for each other, and we have Nina if we need help, so nothing can go wrong."

 

"You're so smart," he blurts out. "And so strong, you just get yourself back up… You can totally do this, I trust you."

 

He grabs her hand, presses a kiss onto it.

 

"We can do this," he says in a voice that probably wills itself assertive. The result is mitigated but it's the thought that counts, probably.

 

"Yeah," she says, keeping him close. "We can totally do this."

 

"And if you're, erm, if you're scared again, we can just call Nina, right?"

 

Nina specifically told Vanessa about this, how Usnavi was much more likely to freak out than Benny ever did and that she knew him and could handle him if Vanessa ever found it too much. As if Vanessa couldn't deal with her own husband. But as a last resort, yes, they do have the option of ever calling Nina. She nods.

 

"Nina will always be there for us, and I'll always be here for you."

 

His fingers are tapping on her huge belly, then he lays his palm flat. The baby pulls herself up to meet him and she feels him smile.

 

"I can't wait…" He says wistfully.

 

"Neither can she," Vanessa replies, their hands joining on her belly. "She's always excited when you do that."

 

"Really?" He asks excitedly.

 

She nods. She can already feel that this child will be a daddy's girl, and she's not even born yet.

 

"Baby," she asks him and the smile on his face tells her that this anxiety is gone − for now. "Let's go to bed?"

 

He nods, helps her stand up. He always does this, ever since her belly started showing. She used to find it unnecessary but this belly is taking up so much more space than she can handle and she's grateful for the help now. The bedroom isn't even that far, but enough that she can bask in the attention he smothers her with, always. Back in bed, she realizes she's forgotten the most important thing.

 

"Wait, no, my sandwich…"

 

"Right away," he disappears back into the kitchen.

 

One good thing about this belly is that it is so vast now that she can use it as a shelf for the snack he brings back for her. And still with tons of room for him to hug her around the waist when he slips back into bed with her. He does this more and more ever since he put that baby in her. She already fears that he'll insist on sleeping with their kid in the bed as well. So much for romantic nights… She'll cross that bridge when they come to it. For now she'll take the extra cuddles. There is something so peaceful about sitting here in bed, eating a cool snack, her boy wrapped around her. Nothing could disturb her. Nothing except…

 

"Usnavi," she sighs. "I gotta pee again."

 

  
_Just another three months of pregnancy,_ she thinks. Pregnancy is the worst. _Can't wait for this kid to show her face._  



End file.
